Ode to General Phelps

 

In 1853 he joined the Bombay native infantry

And then in ‘57 was in Poonah in the mutiny

By the year of ‘58 he was with the Commissariat

And later went to Kattiwar to face the proletariat

 

E’en so in matters spiritual and interdigitational

He was the very model of a modern major general

 

While in Bombay he began a homeopathical dispensary

His participation in the Afghan war was truly legendary

He was by all accounts an interesting personality

And devoted his career to matters mostly military

 

E’en so in matters vivisectional and vaccinational

He was the very model of a modern major general

 

He turned his attention to the best way of shipping stores

Which was of use to his superiors in the Afghan wars.

He saw much service in most stations of the Presidency

And studied the minutiae of world-wide archaeology

 

E’en so in matters bimetallical and cremational

He was the very model of a modern major general

 

In fact, he knew what was meant by ‘mamelon’ and ‘ravelin’

He could tell at sight a chassepot rifle from a javelin

While such affairs as sorties and surprises He was most wary at

And he knew precisely what was meant by ‘commissariat’

 

In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral

He was the very model of a modern major general

 

Anthea Boylston née Phelps (Great grand daughter of Arthur Phelps)

December 1994

(with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)

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