Volume IV

 

July 18th, 1840 – Saturday Mr Moss called in the afternoon but was not particularly ridiculous or amusing. Mackworth as usual paid a long visit in order to have a tete a tete Portuguese lipon. I don’t know what Fanny wil do when he goes away for he is the only person almost that she seems to honour with her regard – we had no Shakespeare, Mama being bothered but I read aloud some of Miss Ellis book on The Influence of Women . they say she is the wife of Polynesia and it really appears from the ignorance she betrays that in some parts of human nature or at least of English –young-ladies nature she might be supposed to have lived all her life among savages – some parts nevertheless are very true and sensible. The Carters and Fanny and Mama Tripp came up to tea and the former were much charmed with the beauty of the Quinta as who would not be that saw it for the first time. After walking about some time they were seized with some unaccountable restlessness and fear lest this gentleman should take cold so after devouring tea in great haste they went down and the Miss Tripps soon followed their example after asking various questions of much importance of Papa.

 

The Packet came in – Sunday 19th – The letters appeared about 6 and contain on the whole bad news, at least Uncle John’s and Grandmamas are written in a very desponding strain. We were detained so long reading them that Clara only reached Carmo in time to dress for Church – I stayed for some time in the vestry talking to Mr Lowe about his expedition which he enjoyed extremely and had obtained both health and fishes. I spoke also to the Shores and various others and went to call on Mary as she sent for me and after staying with her some little time to inform her what has happened at the Mount since she last saw us I returned to dinner after which taking off as many of my clothes as I found too hot I laid on my bed and read Clement Walton which I like excessively – I never read books which seemed to me so entirely right in all points of doctrine, principle and practice. We returned to the Mount to tea, I having passed a very tranquil and happy Sunday and not the least too hot.

 

Monday 20th – While busily engaged in making pies and puddings in the afternoon Mrs Wallas and Jane called and as soon as I had cleaned myself I went into them and after they had paid an enormous visit I went up the Quinta with them which was an amazing act of politeness as I was very tired.

 

Tuesday 21st – I was up at 7 and practised and read an hour before the arrival of 4 Miss Tripps with Miss Ross who came unasked – the best feature I have seen in her character for a long time and Miss Southcote and Pauline Blackburn. After breakfast we all walked round the Quinta with which all were in ecstasies as usual especially Misses Southcote and Ross who had never been here before. I walked with the former who was formerly governess but is now “Mammy” to Pauline who is here for her health and is an orphan – she is a very nice sensible woman and though her opinions coincided on most of the subjects we spoke of especially on the property and benefit of reading novels we were not the least slow. Mama read Mark Anthony to us and we were very happy. Papa dined with Dr Oliveira instead of us which was most rude. We, or rather, Bella received a long note from Julia or rather from Mr Hewson who not only wrote but seems also to have dictated much of the epistle which is however signed by him Julia Hayward. They are all enjoying themselves immensely and the gents deriving much benefit from the change. Not a word about asking us except that Mr Hewson hopes to finish Henry Milner argument on cliffs of St Anns. Mrs Wallas was also honoured with a note from him which was however so formally polite that it only served to excite instead of satisfying Janes curiosity so she came to see if we could tell her more. Her look of astonishment when she saw “ Miss Philps” in his handwriting and still more when she cane to the “My dear Elisabeth” was sufficiently amusing. She went out with us about three o-clock and we had a very nice walk by the botanical garden to the Curral and on our way down through the Quinta we and Papa, Mr Moss and Dr Oliveira who were come uo to tea. In the evening Fanny sang and after I had read the Widow Barnaby the last no alas! And no mention of any adventures in America to be recorded I became very sleepy and thought them an immense time before they took their departure although I had been very happy and every one in raptures.

 

Wednesday 22nd – Fanny and I went down by invitation to breakfast at the Angustias at 8 o’clock and found on arriving there that the elder part of the family had already breakfasted so we children eat alone in the veranda. Arabella and I except in a small interval of housekeeping ( in which I answered as many of Mrs Shores questions as I could about pelerines and puddings and listened to some very pretty poetry by Milne which Mr Shore read) sat at one end of the veranda alone and she read me such parts of her journal as she thought proper which was very interesting although she of course left out all the most interesting parts especially what related to myself which was a great pity. She has evidently written an immensity about me and all overpoweringly flattering as I perceived from small parts. The most amusing was her thinking me prettier than Bella which she did from the first and not after she knew me. It is altogether so beautiful written, poetical and all that kind of thing – just like a book. She certainly is most astonishing clever. Of, if she were but clean and tidy what an angel would she be! Good, beautiful, learned and innocent as she is how irresistibly charming! What shoals of hearts and fortunes would be at her feet in less than no time. By the by side she told me something of this kind but as it is a profound secret disclosed only to me and on no account by me to be betrayed even to Bella I must remember without recording it and she promises that her letter shall not be such as be stuck up at the Custom House. We had a particularly nasty dinner. Poor Mr Hewson! I think even Arabella’s beauty would not have compensated in his opinion for Mrs Shores bad housekeeping if he had gone to live there. We laid on the bed all the afternoon and were so much interested in our conversation which was partly on the aforementioned subject that we forgot to read her poetry so I must another day. Poor little girl I do believe she is very fond of me and so I am of her but to be very fond of anyone which I am very sorry for but it is not my fault and after all perhaps it is best for being born without a heart – I shall be less likely to lose it which would be the greatest misfortune of the two. I was obliged to go away about 6 having things to do in town. This I did – not much regret as the Tripps and Miss Moss were coming to tea so we embraced most lovingly although we are to meet again I hope many times before they go and then I went to a work womans and shopping without dismounting and then to the Casino so that it was nearly 8 when we reached the Mount and they having more tea were picking cherries for doce being assisted by Jane Wallas who looked so pretty and laughed so much at her delicate hands being employed in such vulgar work that I was quite in love with her. She is a darling little child and not the least affected.

 

Thursday 23rd – Mama went to town to make the said doce and returned with Papa in the evening I having most unjustifiably wasted the whole day having a headache. I forgot to mention that Adelaide Oliveira on her way to St Anns where she has been staying with the Haywards called here with another long note from Julia as before but it seems from her account that the poor Secretary is not in such good health as he would have us believe – for which I grieve.

 

Friday 24th – Jane came in the afternoon to hear Cymbeline which Mama finished. Two French frigates commanded by Prince Joinville came in on their way to fetch the Ashes of Napoleon.

 

Saturday 25th – Papa sent up a word by Mr Moss and afterwards by a note and special messenger to come down to go on board but we not fully realising the delights of so doing and moreover being ignorant that General Bretrand was on board declined. It was also a terrifically hot day and Bella and I were engaged to spent it at the Temples so perhaps it was as well. We reached Palmeira soon after 12 and till 2 dinner time we found it rather slow sitting round the table and listening to, to them, interesting reminiscence of the Mauritias where Major Lucas and Miss Southcote spent several years – our party was reinforced presently by Jones, Edwards and Leacock who were tolerably agreeable and Mr Temple being absent at St António da Serra we were very happy. I after dinner stationed myself in the smaller drawing room where I alternately played at puzzles with Pauline, talked to Major Lucas, a harmless tho apparently silly man, and I should have thought slightly vulgar but I am assured by everyone that he is remarkably gentlemanly. I suppose I am mistaken, and reading ? BOZ  which are irresistibly ludicrous, till Mrs Temple coming in to her room where we sat on the sofa and had a very interesting conversation principally on Astromony and she was so kind to me calling me dear love so that I was quite delighted as I have always liked her so much and wished her naturally to like me but I despaired of such a clever lady so doing. Poor lady ! she had the most dreadful headache but she would not let me go away but kept on talking in a most animated manner till as it was cooler she proposed going into the garden where we sat for a long time in an arbour, the gentleman meanwhile playing at battledoor and shuttlecock with Pauline and Bella reposing in the house. Here she talked more nicely that in the house even telling me all about her character and suchlike. After tea she was so much worse that she was obliged to go to bed but we stayed a little longer guessing puzzles and just went into her room to wish her goodbye – Bella rode along the levada being protected from falling there into by Tom Edwards while I more prudently walked with Tom Leacock and as he and some other gents have taken a house at the Mount rode up with us.

 

Sunday 26th – To our infinite horror the first thing we heard in the morning was that the frigate was under weigh so all our hopes of going on board are at an end. Fanny and I went down to town and much to my surprise Mr Thorn preached so that made up for my disappointment before. It was a very good sermon on “ I thank Thee that I am not as other men are” but I have heard Mr Lowe preach much better. I had a long conversation with Mr Bayman in the vestry who had been on board all Saturday afternoon and told me about General Bertrand who he says is a most free spoken pleasant old man with a red face and white hair – but so unmindful was he of the honour on shaking hand and talking with this illustrious person that he actually said he regretted being thereby prevented from going to Palmeira. I then talked to Mr Lowe who is dreadfully sunburnt with an expedition to Machico where he has been for the last week and with which he is so much pleased that he has taken rooms there for two months intending to return every Saturday to town. Miss Moss waited up and walked home with me and bothered me so to drink tea with her and sleep at her house which I was determined not to be bullied into doing for she is a humbug and I hate humbugs, that in self-defence I was obliged to ask her to come up here and spend some day at the Mount instead, at which proposal she immediately seized and she is to come on Friday. I lay all the afternoon on the bed and read nothing particular and we set off upwards before 5 calling on our way at palmeira to enquire after MRs Temple who, poor lady, is not the least better. We walked about the garden with Major Lucas and Miss Southcote who was very amiable –gave us wine and water and asked us to tea etc. Papa went down in the evening.

 

Monday 27th – One of theses mornings as I was talking to Bella on the all-engrossing topic which however has not engrossed my mind so much lately, she accused me of inconsistency because I said Mr Hewson was no more in love with her than with at least 50 other young ladies to whom he had made vows of unchanging constancy and affection and that he was a humbug entirely – therefore that I may not again be accused of inconsistency without written proof of the same I here record this firm and settled conviction. Jane came to hear Titus Andronicus which I find eminently disgusting, but we were presently interrupted by Mr Moss and Mr Freeman and Mrs More who departed without imparting to us any new ideas or facts. Papa came and helped us cut sandwiches.

 

Tuesday 28th – Mama on the horse set off at 8 having breakfasted to St Anns and was in the depths of despair because we declined accompanying her on foot thro the broilingest sun that ever was felt in July in Madeira. We however followed soon after her i.e. the children down to Charley and Maria who, her master of the Quinta of St Salvador being absent, begged to accompany them. I lagged behind the whole way with Mrs Opies simple tales which indeed are simply absurd. We cooled a little in a cave and speedily devoured all the provisions which were only enough to make us wish for more but at 2 o’clock we wanted some more dinner but patience we had none so I went into a comfortable corner and fell asleep and when I awake I read Gibbon and then when the children came and made a noise I read the Scotch Chiefs which is very slow and at 5 we set off homewards and in two hours obtained cool rest and food which were all very delightful but we were not tired and I sat up some time reading.

 

Wednesday 28th – Anna came into my room before I was dressed to call me to Bella who I found with a number of ? letters on her lap – 4 Joseph 3 from Mama from Arthur to Bella and Anne to me – all good and nice. Joseph a little better as to laziness and respectable speeches which are splendid. Anne Worthington in despair at her Betrothed’s absence and bad prospects and Jane going to be married to a Mr Whitby aged 50 but a rector and a good match. Anne talks as much as she seems to think of prudent of a certain George Lloyd so I don’t know if she thinks of following her friends example – the worst thing in the letter is a strict prohibition from Papa to read Gibbon and here I am in the 8th volume. What am I to do. As soon as I had done with the children for Bella was gone to town to make doce I sat down to answer it and filled three paged with reasons why I should read Gibbon and also answered to two other messages Papa had sent me about Mrs Sherwood and the prayer for the dead. Mrs Gordon called about 5 and entertained me with an account of the not very gently, manly and very unfrenchmanlike freaks of the Prince de Joinville who set forth with his train on Saturday morning to gallop about the country and finding himself inclined to breakfast when he arrived at Camacha  he obtained permission to go into Mr Beans where they were all sitting down but he, wishing as he said to be at his ease, insisted on all the ladies going away breakfastless while his servants spread the provisions he had brought – this conduct for a prince and a Frenchman seems most unaccountable but General Bertrand made amends for it we heard by ? the party all round  and the Prince afterwards sent Mrs Bean a jewel – poor payment for such rudeness. He also insisted on riding along roads that were impassable and two of the party were much hurt &. Mr Moss also called and paid me a long visit and I was agreeably surprised at his agreeableness – he advises me by all means to read Gibbon for he says he agrees with St Paul that we should “prove all things”. Bella came up.

 

Tuesday 29th  - Being very sick I did little but lay down and read the stupid Scottish Chiefs tho occasionally rising for the purpose of writing letters. Papa came up to tea so we amused him as well as we could reading our letter and discussing long engagements which he much disapproves, and he thinks Jane Worthington has a much better prospect of happiness with her sick husband than Anne with her poor sick lover. I am afraid I am a little of his opinion. So much for the romance of 18!

 

Friday 30th – Miss Moss and Mary Oliveira came to breakfast after which as it was the 2nd day of a ? and sufficiently hot we staid in the house and I read aloud Mrs Ellis till dinner and we were all immensily amused at the ridiculous ? resemblance between a character described and Mary – but she worked on in the most perfect unconsciousness and unconcern. She really is the very silliest girl I ever knew and I was almost glad to see that Miss Moss is beginning to find out that her Utopian ideas respecting her are Utopian. This lady I could not help my feelings of dislike towards somewhat abating for she listened so silently and interestedly to the reading that compared with Mary’s restlessness and absurdly foolish remarks she appeared quite charming and after dinner when we all found ourselves in my room laying on the bed etc. she quite won  my heart by her observations on live, engagements and marriage which exactly agreed with my own. She agrees with me in thinking that it is quite possible to help falling in love an above all that a young lady has not the least right to suppose a man is in love with her or to act upon this supposition till he says in so many words “will you marry me”. Bella was of course against us both but I daresay she will soon think we are right. We then continued reading Mrs Ellis till Mr Moss appeared when we walked and sat about the Quinta  and listened to a few of his very funny rhapsodies. After tea Miss Moss seized me by the buttonholes and kept me talking in the doorway after they were gone into the next room and I liked her very much. She talked very sensibily on the subject of old maidism, in which state she thinks she may happily being now 26. she told me Miss Frazers interestinf history – it is something like Anne Worthingtons only her William is very handsome and in good health but with far less prospects of obtaining wherewithal to marry than poor John Thorpe. This poor Bella Frazer seems very hardly treated, she and William have been brought up together since they were ten years old and on its appearing to themselves and the said Mrs Carpenter that they were in love she was mist indignant and astonished and desired them to fall out of love immediately which however they declined doing and have been engaged now 2 years. They all went away about 9 – Mamas birthday.

 

Saturday August 1st – Mr Moss called in the afternoon while I was mending a most inelegant piece of work and talked in a most unintelligible and amusing style on his beloved Carlyle. He being gone I continued to work immensely hard and yet had not finished before 6 although Mama before she went, had given me an immense scolding for wasting 10 minutes which she declared would have been sufficient to have

finished it in. it is a great fault of Mamas this scolding without sufficient cause and I wish she would not do it because although I know she means no harm and is occasionally sorry for it afterwards, yet she does not consider the pains she gives especially to me for I hate to be scolded more, I think, than her own children who have been accustomed to it all their lives. I don’t think Mama Evans ever scolded me without reason. Papa came up by the Caminho do Meyo and we all went to the Mirante and to the gate being joined there by Jane whose almost daily visits I have not thought necessary to mention but Mama did not come so presently she went away in despair and as it was soon quite dark we concluded she had gone straight down into town so we went into tea but were hardly seated before she appeared not very tired and very charmed with St Anns. She brings a very good report of Misses Hewsons and Montgomerys health and letters from Eliza and Julia – nothing particular.

 

Monday 2nd – Fanny and I walked down to town and after much delay of boiling water buying sugar etc. we had breakfast and then  reposed till Church time – Mary happily did not come till we were dressing. Mr Lowe preached an old and celebrated sermon of ours about the miracle of the feeding the 5000 but modified and I think softened from last years. Mama came in the middle of service as usual alas, and we received the Sacraments of course but few Communicants. We had a long conversation with Mr Lowe in the vestry and he wants us to go and see him at Machico – what fun. Mama and I went up to the Convent and the nun was so much grieved at hearing of Mrs Wynters death that she intends to write Mr Wynter a letter of “sentiments” by the Florence – poor man, I hope it will have at least the good effect of making him ? in his grief. Mama was very agreeable and told me some rather amusing anedoctes told by Mrs Carter of Miss Dick who declared that Mr Smith had been violently in love with her but perceiving that she gave him no hope he left the island in despair! Mr Bacon and Mr Bond also reckoned by her among the number of her adorers and no end of Portuguese “men”. What vulgar, conceited woman! How would Mr Hewson like her – I am sure for ‘ his penetration was deceived when he thought her so much otherwise. After dinner I wrote to Miss Moss to borrow her horse which she had offered to lend me but alas! Its shoes were worn out so after riding Mr Mosses Leighton for some time I set off on the pony, Fanny walking and in due course tho rather slowly reached the Mount. Bella had been in bed all day and I after tea remembering Mrs Ellises hints on conversation exerted myself to the utmost to amuse Papa till 9 o’clock and I hope partly succeeded.

 

Monday 3rd – I wrote before breakfast and after dinner and practised very hard as always do but without the least effect – it is not the least use I shall ever play decently and ? doubt it ever better than I do now. Those variations of Mozart are so odiously difficult – and another thing I never shall be able to do it write letters – in short I am a horrid owl and can do nothing – not even make puddings or darn stockings – I sat at the Mirante most of the afternoon waiting for Marian who was to have returned from Campanário but she appeared not and I read Mrs Opies most digusting simple tales and the S. Schiefs which I have not even yet finished. Mrs Tripp sent us some spotted muslin dresses. I think very pretty and with a prettier note.

 

Tuesday August 4th – Is it possible that I am 18 today! I remember thinking 14 is very old and truth to say I don’t think I am much older now than I was 4 years ago when Robert Temple used to tell me I was such a prodigy of wisdom and I used to believe him. How I wish I had kept a journal in that time of my first and only flirtation for it is not likely I shall ever have another and it would be a most interesting record. I wonder if I should be happier if I were beautiful and fascinating – with my present character I think not, but if I had also a very warm heart and a strong mind I think perhaps I might. But I am not the least discontented I hope with my lot and I think that on the whole I have fewer causes of unhappiness and more of contentment than most people. I wrote to ask Marion and Jane to come and drink tea here but Marion is not to return till today so perhaps they will not be able to come. I hope our friendship is not always to last only the Summer it is very slow to be always cooling and heating again –not comfortable at all – and really I have enough affection for Marion just now to feel that I should be sorry it should ever diminish. Jane came down in the afternoon and we waited at the Mirante till she came about 7 – she promises in spite of her bad headache to come and drink tea with us and Jane and I went up the Quinta to meet her. Jane Wilkinson had come up to stay some days with the children so they went elsewhere and we stayed in the drawing room reading letters and such like to Marion who lay on the sofa and was very tired poor child which may perhaps account for her coolness or almost crossness for she expressed nothing but sorrow at having left Campanário and being returned to their “horrid Quinta” she is a funny child – I can understand her and whether she likes me or not still remains a mystery. When they were gone, as the parents had send word they could not come as the horsed were in town, we thought it would be very advisable for Fanny and me to walk down early and spend the day with the Shores.

 

Wednesday 5th – we put our plan into execution and on arriving at the Angustias at 7 I found Arabella not yet dressed but most delighted to see me and so were all. We spent the morning principally in Arabellas or Louisa’s rooms but were occasionally driven out into the balcony by Mrs Shore who kept fidgeting about and assuring is that we were very hot. She went to see Mama soon after breakfast and I sent a note by her informing my parent where I was so we had a long interval of peace and quietness and after all we were left to ourselves on the whole, and we certainly became in that mornings conversation much better friends than we had ever been before. Arabella opened her hear wonderfully and told me of her sorrows her poetry and her melancholy much more than she ever had before and we made up our minds that the reason we had got son so very slowly was our great difference of character and I was just trying to reconcile myself to being undeniably ? only in Arabellas affection because she had been saying so much about the kindredity of their spirits ( Marion and hers) and the ? of ours when she went on further to say that now I know her so well and entered so much and understood her feelings so entirely that I then changed my mind and began to conceive it possible I might still retain the 1st place – she read some poetry that I might  choose one for myself. I immediately pounced upon one describing exactly her own feelings and she had some doubts about giving it me. It is not perhaps such pretty poetry as some others but it is more interesting to me as I have so often heard her say in prose what she has there expressed in poetry or rather in verse. I do believe she is a true poet but I somehow or other cannot fancy she will ever become celebrated as an authoress. She has come to such perfection so rapidly and as she says some years ago she felt more poetry than she does now that I fear she will never much improve. Perhaps though the quite and coolness of England may being her back to her former state of mind. The cook was ill so we had fortunately a plainer and mores eatable dinner and about 5 o’clock Arabella took me to chaperone her to palmeira , Mrs Temple having some time thought fit to cut them but they being great friends of Miss Southcote they were all sitting upon a bench in the garden and the others going away Mrs Temple made me sit down by her and is as affectionate as ever – I really felt quite flattered. She is looking dreadfully pale and ill and owns to having had a bad attack but she is so energetic that one can hardly tell how sick she is. Ara and I went on to the Mosses talking on the way about poor Emily to whom in genius and intellect she does not think herself worthy to be compared. It is quite affecting to see her continued sorrow for her loss – she cannot speak of her without crying. She left me at the turn to the ? as she had been invited there and had not better excuse to offer for not going than her intention of going up with me the next morning to the Mount for which expedition she did not wish to tire herself. Mackworth escorted Fanny but from some mistake did not say to tea. The other company besides MR Moss were Fanny and two minor Tripps and the interesting Miss Fraser and her Aunt – interesting no longer for her liveliness is evidently put on that people may admire her heroism in so laughing, she is not content with smiling at grief and her occasional visit to the balcony to look and sight at the moon seem intended to prevent spectators from forgetting that she a heart broken maiden. Her singing too is in no better taste being much in the style of a maidservant, neither are her complaints and apologies for hoarseness and yet evident pleasure in being asked and pressed to perform, which is so great that rather when not asked at all she asks herself – she also prefers Herz to Beethoven – Duarte to Mr Lowe and is in short not hopeful, which discovering I went and talked to poor old Mrs Carpenter who seems a very well meaning good natured rather silly old woman in a black gown and white cap. We all came home together about 11. Miss Moss had received a letter from her sister containing the agreeable intelligence that all the passengers were in good health tho no particular mention is made of poor ? they were 19 days to Penzance, whence they wrote by a Falmouth Packet and theirs is the only letter received.

 

Thursday 6th – Arabella was punctually at the door at 7 and we rode up talking on the way principally of her cousins and relations especially certain Julia Dennis who being just married to a Captain Bullock will probably stop here on her way to India – we could not talk of anything

more interesting , Fanny being with us. After breakfast Mama proposed kindly to let the children have a holiday that we might sit round the table and work because it promoted conversation but as we much to Mama’s great astonishment declined this considerat proposal Ara and I went to Bella’s bowe with some old journals in which I read all that I thought proper about herself but I am so sorry to find so little – I mean in future to be much more minute and particular in describing persons and conversations – to be sure in this latter I am a little improved already – thanks to Mr Hewsons interesting talking. We talked principally of such things as were suggested by the journals and letters I was reading but we also discussed a few other subjects – among other things she was bitterly lamenting the loss of her innocence which seems to grieve her beyond measure, but as I told her she could not expect to preserve it all her life so it did not signify whether it departed sooner or later. She is also much distressed at the general style of conversation among the young ladies in Madeira who she thinks treat the subject of love in much too light a manner for before she came here it always seemed too sacred a subject to be approached without  much circumlocution – so altogether the poor little girl is very unhappy but I think she will be better when she gets to England and among her beloved Mary Warren and Tilly, William Shore etc. One of her most distressing subjects of contemplation is the incompatibility of writing poetry and being married upon both of which she has set her heart but she agrees with me that as the best thing for her would be to marry that the poetry must give way – I am certainly very curious to know what will become of her – she would to be sure make a very dirty uncomfortable wife but she would not be happy as an old maid. Well, time will show as Harriet says. Marion came to fetch her to dinner as had been previously arranged and Mama read King Lear to us during her absence . the children with Mackworth went to fetch her and when they returned Peter Cossart and Tom Leacock were here and they stayed to tea but this was rather fortunate as it prevented Mama making any objection to our walking together all the evening in the moonlight. Bella joined us for a little while on the Disteiro but we had been together so much that we had nothing of very great importance to communicate. Harriet was much more cruel – she stuck with Fanny and Mackworth the whole evening so that their parting was disturbed by the unwelcome presence of a third person, for which being come down into my room I called her and gave her an immense scolding Fanny listening behing the curtain all the while and I think Harriet was a little convinced by my arguments and slightly ashamed of herself. This is not however to be our last parting for we are to go down and see them again which I am glad of as our parting was rather uncomfortably public, Mama and the gents accompanying us to the gate.

 

Friday 7th – I went to the gate to meet Marion but found only a note saying she was too tired – I suppose overwhelmed with grief. She certainly is very fond of Arabella for the children say she was crying bitterly when they went up to fetch her and I alas don’t cry the least and yet I think I am very sorry she is going away – it certainly is not fair that Ara should like me better or even as well as Marion for she loves her so infinitely better than I do. I think it’s the dirtiness and besides I am not so given to loving as Marion, mores the pity. I wrote all day and Mama finished King Lear and begins Romeo . Mary Oliveira came up to tea and at 6 went up to the gate and found Marion waiting for me – she did not seem so unhappy as I expected but she was very melancholy and nice as she says she is as well inclined as I am to follow Arabellas advice and be friends. She asked me to go to tea so I went although I had promised to meet them on the Adro but I thought they would not expect me knowing where I was. After tea we three went and sat on the wall watching the rockets which were very pretty and excited Jane most lively admiration. She was very melancholy when we went in but soon recovered with my soothing. Really her affection for me is quite touching – at least it would be of I could know it to be rather more exclusive. I was hardly alone with Marion but was happy enough and Mrs Wallas graciously informed me when I came away that I was quite a stanger.

 

Saturday 8th – Jane wrote me down word that I must send my letter to Katherine immediately so I closed it and then proceeded to make pies, which I finished soon and then completed my letters which are long ones to Evans and Philps, the third unanswered to the latter who Ara advises me to cut, to Joseph and to Anne Worthington the most difficult of all for I though it proper to write sentiment which is not particularly natural to me and then I read till dinner. Mama finished Romeo and Juliet and made us laugh thereover in a most unromantic style. Mr Hayward Waldy and Ellen came in from the North the others being gone by way of St Vicent not to arrive till Monday. We were much amused to hear there would be one vacant room at the hotel while Bella was there and that Mr Hewson was thinking of taking it. Papa came up.

 

Sunday 9th – After an immensity of persuading Mama at length consented to allow Fanny to go down to town with me saying at the same time that she was very angry with me for bullying her and that she thought it very indelicate – such an idea! For those innocent babies. Mr Shore preached a very good sermon and after church Arabella and I went as before agreed into one of the arbours while M and I took possession of the other. She weepy and trembled violently and I did my best to console her though I fear my sympathy for her grief was not lively enough to give her much comfort. She was however very affectionate and we staid some time talking in a very sentimental manner about never forgetting, always writing and suchlike which I could not help bringing to my recollection various passages in books of partings of Intimate Friends – I am afraid I am a horrid humbug but it is not my fault – I could do no otherwise than sigh at least in unison for the tears, alas! Would not come and after all I really was very sorry only to call us so we rather of a passive nature. Mackworth presently came to call us so we parted first embracing over and over again in the most heartrendingly pathetic manner and she mounted her horse and disappeared for ever. I never expect to see her again. Fanny, I was glad to hear, had relented a little towards Mackworth and not only allowed him to kiss her but returned the kiss. We read all the afternoon and rode up rather late and then to bed.

 

Monday 10th – I met Marion at the gate but she was so anxious to read a note I had brought from Arabella that I soon left her and came down to the Tripps of whom Mrs, Miss Berridge, Sophy and Les are arrived to spend the day. Mama had a small attack of lumbago so left us to do the honors until about 11 when she being dressed they returned from a walk and my pudding made we assembled to work in the drawing room. Mrs Tripp talked so incessantly and so agreeable too of past times principally and Mr Tripp’s courtship that I could hardly find an opening for poor Mrs Ellis and when I did begin so many were the remarks and annotation that not much of it was accomplished before dinner but we finished the book afterwards and I am sure we ought to feel most grateful to it for the amusement and relief it has afforded us. We went in the evening early to the Adro where I walked with Sophy who did not day one silly thing the whole day and looked so pretty after her illness that I am beginning to relent towards her and to believe myself mistaken hitherto in supposing her utterly idealess. Peter Cossart and Tom Leacock came down to tea with us and after the Tripps were gone walked for some time in the moonlight with Mama and Bella.

 

Tuesday 11th – Morning as usual but slightly varied by the anticipation of seeing the northern lights today – accordingly as Mama was reading Master Humphreys Clock a bell was heard which excited a wondrous commotion in our hearts. I speak of course only of my own with certainty but I imagine that Bella’s was more violently agitated even than mine yet when they entered a cold shake of the hand and a colder how dye do was all we welcomed one another with –such is human nature! Marion and Jane had promised to come to tea expecting that the heros would have taken their departure before 7, but as Mama had independently invited them to tea they imprudently accepted, when the young ladies rushed into the room they beheld Messrs. Hewson and Montgomery to their infinite horror and disquiet but there was no help for it now and we all went to walk till tea after which they staid in the house and Marion and I paraded up and down the avenue, she in vain endeavouring to cool her agitation – they went away rather early and soon after them the gents and Eliza was too tired to have her accustomed moolight walk.

 

Wednesday 12th – I played with Mama after dinner the harp being come up and then came and worked with Eliza in my room – she has entirely forgotten her former anger and is now I believe as fond of that little man and as sure of his sincerity and real desire to improve as she ever was, tho’ how she reconciles his behaviour to Bella with this sincere intention of improvement I do not exactly perceive. He has not been quite so energetic since his return and Bella has let Eliza to believe him even less so than he is. Fanny Tripp walked up about 6 to tea and Maria and Emma rode. Mr Hewson also made his appearance about this time in the drawing room – he had I believe been some time in the Bower. We went up to see the fireworks taking up M & J on our way. Marion informed me that she had a great affection for me and was much rejoiced to learn that her affection was returned and begged that we should be friends as she thought it would be a very advisable plan to follow Arabella’s advice and get up a friendship. Mr Moss had called and come up with us and we took him down to tea but the others would not. All departed – the meal concluded.

 

Thursday 13th – I was awakened early with the ever pleasing intelligence that it was raining hard so I was obliged to write a note instead of going down to the Tripps to make short crust but it cleared up a little about 12 so I then rushed down the hill and found them arrived that the pie was already made but they were happy to see me as I to see them and we spent a very pleasant day working and reading receipts with Mrs Tripp till the Watkinses arrived. They are a clergyman and wife and daughter aged two who came in the ? and being particularly introduced to the Tripps Papa has at their request called upon them Mr Tripp being absent. Mr W is a very gentlemanly tall, thin and handsome man, quiet and reserved I think. Mrs W poor lady is by no means prepossessing in her appearance though she too is gentlemanly and interestingly delicate but she has most ordinary features, red hair and a perpetual smile on her mouth while the rest of her countenance has the expression of intense ennui and fatigue. I sat next the gent at dinner at which Mr Freeman was present – he must, poor man, have been refreshed considerably at the sight of a clean, well – arranged and eatable meal. We younger branches sat out in the garden all the afternoon reading Fanny’s journal of the Ravocals which is a sensible and religious one and then talking on indifferent matters in a very agreeable manner – we have certainly only just began to appreciate the Tripps who we have with one accord set down ? as a set of automation idealess individuals, and I have come to the conclusion that it is a very bad habit to make up our minds too suddenly on any subject – I now think very well of them all. Mrs Tripp is a clever, managing and considerably energetic lady without being bustling or vulgar for I am sure she is good though slightly given to the use of religious slang. I t

Ink she is well educated – to be sure she read no end of novels in her youth though none of her daughters have been allowed yet to read one which may account for some o her good qualities. Fanny, aged 19 is decidedly sensible almost intellectual with an immensity of energy arrangement and punctuality in all she does – though from her very diminutive and rather unprepossessing appearance and the top of her palate which makes her manner of speaking very disagreeable, she is not for some time so charming as she might be – she is the daughter of the 1st wife and the family live on her fortune and are very fond of her – not in consequence. Sophy, the eldest of the ? batch, aged 16 is tall, very pretty though hobbledehoyed from not having learnt to dance with an innocent thought not stupid expression and though she is not very clever in the book learning and such like she seems to have quick wit enough to make her way in the work and a wonderful genius for making caps and cooking. Susan the next is also pretty though not so pleasing as Sophy – she evidently has no mean of opinion of her own abilities and is much looked up to by her sisters to whom she is a walking dictionary – which is not wonderful as she may occasionally sight in the Tripp family be seen with a book in her hand. Maria and Anna are just prettyish happy children not apparently overburned with learning or powers for learning and Miss Berridge the Governess is ugly. Papa came up to tea and took me up to the Mount soon after – a nice moonlight ride. Mr Hewson had been paying a visit and I walked for a long time up and down the avenue to hear particulars from Eliza – he is so sick, poor man, that Dr Renton insists on his returning immediately to the North and will not allow him to come on Mount day of.

 

Friday 14th – I made pies, patties and puddings until I could hardly stand up but they were good so I was comforted. Marion came to ask me to walk with her so I went and afterwards to drink a renewal of friendship, protestations without perhaps much friendship. Julia came to sleep.

 

Saturday 15th – Mount day – we were called at qr past 6 but in spite of our early rising Fanny and another Tripp arrived before we were dressed but we went to the Mirante and amused themselves till we were ready and joined them there. The Governors, Jacintos, Alvaros, Mr Hewson and some others had sent excuses after having accepted so that we had a much smaller party than was expected, i.e. 7 Tripps, Oliveiras, Duarte Ulva and wife, Mr & Mrs Watkins, Augustinho and Miranda to breakfast and George and Waldy - & Mr Montgomery was the only addition to our party at dinner. Nevertheless we were very happy, especially our guests whom we paraded in the morning to the Church and round about it and to the Gordons. I never remember going to the Church on Mount day before – I was agreeably surprised to find so much to interest me – penitents on their knees, kissing of the image, engraving which secured 100 days indulgence of devoutly prayed before &c. the 1500 people annually ? were also a very pretty sight being thickly scattered among the trees and looking much like Greenwich fair – but what rejoiced my heart most was a long conversation I had with Mrs Carpenter who is mow staying at the Gordons and who I had at the Mosses forgotten was the sister-in-law of Lady? . She was a charming old woman and smiled most benevolently at me for my enthusiasm about Sir Walter –she said she always lived at Abbotsford when in Holland and knew him most intimately and had the greatest affection for him of course. Charles, she says, is in very delicate health suffering much from rheumatism – she means to persuade him to come out here – how nice! “Walter and his amiable wife” are in great despair at having no children and so is Charles for he says if the estate comes to him he cannot afford to keep it up. She told me many interesting though intangible things and some anecdotes which I have read in a book but which are much nicer told viva voce –when we came home we lounged about eating cake and drinking ginger beer and Sophy and I lay down some time on my bed as we were very tired but were presently disturbed to look at the dancers and to entertain some of the Gordons company who generally have to come to us for amusement. Miss Moss and Miss Frazer being presently tired of dancing I took them round the Quinta but we talked of nothing particular and went and sat in Bella’s bower till at 3 the dinner bell rang when they had some ginger beer and were obliged to take their departure infinitely disgusted that as the Gordons dinner is not until 6 they will not be able to come to us again – the dinner was rather ugly there being several vacant seats as the children insisted in dining in the Furado and so many ladies that the gents were obliged to pull the dishes out of their places to carve them. I was but happy enough being seated between Mr Watkins and George – the former slightly disinclined to talk I thought but I plied him with questions and insisted on discovering his opinions – he disapproves of novels because they weaken the mind and waste time – I wish I could hear something new on this subject – he is evidently very low-church – thinks it wrong of Mr Lowe to have only one side in the Church Library and to allow us only to read one side and is going to lend me a low-church book immediately –yet he is gentlemanly. We went to the Mirante for dessert as usual and then to ? where some bright genius discovered that Agostinho improvisatored and played the Machete and that this would be an improvement. A Machete was accordingly procured and after he had sung nothing particularly brilliant all the others sung in turns and together made very pretty music much improved by the romanticity of our situation under the trees at one anothers feet, especially when it became moonlight – Miranda was a charming as ever and besides singing some proper songs gave us an excellent imitation of a villains singing and Julia as a villain was admirable. The music went 1st on our way to the house we all keeping step behind and when we reached the Furado, Miranda no longer able to restrain the exhuberance of his spirits began capering about in a manner most amusing to behold and being joined by Waldy and other children resembled much a dancing bear surrounded by monkeys – we had meant to play music all the evening but as such a quiet amusement did not seem in accordance with the mood of the company the room was cleared for Busca trio and we had a capital game – Miranda shining in this as in all other things from Beethovens Trios downwards –everyone was happy and did not go till between 9 and 10. The innocent Malcom was particularly happy and seemed quite in his element, like Miranda, both in the music and busca trio. Mr Lowe called on his way down from the Gordons to say he had heard from his mother.

 

Sunday 16th – the two children went to Church as I was too tired and I read Leighton nearly all day – I am disappointed in it – it is not clear enough and there is such a waste of words over which one is obliged to puzzle. I like the matter and not the words of a book to be hard. Bella making preparations for tomorrow. Julia went down with Charles who came for her and I made up my mind to invite myself to Mr Montogomery party.

 

Monday 17th – we had breakfast over soon after 7 and Bella had to wait nearly an hour for Mr Hewson who did not appear till 8, Maria having omitted to call him in good time and he was so sick poor young man that he had been almost afraid that he would not be able to go. At last, however, they set off and most improper and incorrect they looked –just those two alone in their hammocks going a tete a tete journey of 30 miles among solitary ? mountains. Papa could not help exclaiming when they went off at half past 4, Eliza, Fanny, Harriet and I, it having been intimated to me that my presence was wished for walked down to the  Quinta de S. Salvador and found that poor Mr M was not yet ready to receive us as he had been rushing about all the day endeavouring to supply Binnaldos place as he could get no other subsitute. Poor Julia had to walk in consequence of this same ? for Mr M having promised to send her his pony and not being able to fulfil his promise she waited a long time for it and at length appeared hot and weary at half past 5 at which time we had agreed to drink Mr Hewson’s health it being his 24th birthday – he is old enough to be wiser. Charles Hayward and Murdoch and Ellen also came to dinner which was not over till half past 6 in consequence of the numerous toasts we drank which made us so tipsy also that E J and I went to walk till tea was ready –after tea George Waldy having also arrived we all sung without ceasing till much past 10 when the pony having come we took our departure and rode and rode up to the Mount, Fanny accompanied the who was by the Charlesses – we had been unproariously merry and noisy and even I had been happy.

 

Tuesday 18th – a short note from Bella saying she had enjoyed her journey over that everything was charming and delightful. As I was walking in the avenue I heard a knock at the gate and no one appearing to open it I performed the office of portress much to Mr Montgomery’s astonishment – he had come to answer a note I had written invinting him for tomorrow as his new boy had been away and he had no one else by whom he could send a letter. However, I will do him the justice to suppose he was glad of the excuse for coming. As Maria was rather sick and lying down we took charge of him and accopmained him up the Quinta to call on the Wallases which I also did and found Marion ill in bed with toothache and we did not stay long as Eliza was waiting for us at the gate, then we went down and sat at the Mirante – slow ! Papa.

 

Wednesday 19th – I made my first attempt at short crust and succeeded to admiration. Mr M did not arrive till 2 and after dinner he and Fanny sung duets etc. while Mama laid down –she is much better and after some time was able to come and hear Mr M read William Missionary enterprise which is a very interesting book. I think accounts of the conversion of raw savages is so much more interesting than that of half civilized nations- the Indians for instance. Soon after 6 we again proceeded up to the Wallas and as Marion was better and able to sit up we all remained in the drawing room till Mrs W. took her departure when we had a long and animated discussion on humbugs illustrating our arguments with many references to MR Hewson who is the most finished humbug certainly that Marian and I know although Mr M declares he is not the least a humbug or at any rate not near so much one as we imagine. We grew so interested in the debate that we forgot poor Eliza and we found that she was gone and the shades of the evening entirely come, so we had to grope our way through the woods in a rather amusing manner. In the intervals of knocking ourselves against the trees, tumbling down the precipices etc. Malcom was upbraiding me for speaking so unkindly of his cousin as I had done assuring me that the time would come when I should be convinced how mistaken I had been – he was right – he was so nice I was quite enchanted and almost sorry when we had reached home although we had lost ourselves and I had been a little frightened. We had music in the evening and Jane and he went on up about 19.

 

Thursday 20th – I wrote Bella an immense note and was just comfortably seated at the bottom of the garden hoping to finish the Scottish Chiefs, in the slowest manner possible, regular Custom house, which is not the least necessary as Mama asks no questions but just lets me read the note to he and I write all kinds of improprieties to Bella. She says she is not very well which I take to signify mental rather than bodily indisposition which is not to be so much wondered at as Mr Hewson is so ill that I suppose ? and bower scenes are out of the question. I read Williams aloud and then walked up to see Marion who was much better, extremely violently affectionate and very anxious I should stay to tea but I could not. She really is a nice child and I think I like her very much better I am afraid than Arabella or at least I love her better and should I doubt not love her very much were not love as o have before said so deficient in my nature. Julie was laughing at me the other day for this coldness of my disposition saying she doubted if I loved anybody – but surely this was very unkind, it is very unfeeling to laugh at a person for her misfortunes, and I am sure having a cold heart is a very great misfortune and I feel as if I would almost change it for any other. Eliza comforted me by saying that I could not tell her nor could anyone what was the strengh of my affection for my friends till it was tried which I suppose it never has been yet. I think if I do love any one in the world , now I have forgotten the Evanses, who I certainly did love and almost hope I do still, it is Bella, but I wont write any more sentiment. Eliza charitably offered to take my share of the packing to enable me to finish my note and go to bed to prepare for the fatigues of the morrow.

 

Friday 21st [August 1840] – Fanny 14 – no birthday presents poor child but I gave her a collar a little while ago which will do for today. Fanny Tripp came up to breakfast which was at 7 and as soon as we had finished Papa, she, Fanny and Harriet walking, Clara and Charles Palanquining and I riding set off towards the Poizo where we were to spend the day and I took up Jane in her palanquin and rode with her till I surrendered my horse to a child and so riding and lying we at length reached Ribeira das Cales where we were glad to get a little shelter from the cave which has so often afforded us refuge from the heat – here we were joined by the rest of the Tripps, Mama and Mr Montgomery, all riding with two hammocks and we then proceeded on our way after drinking a little water – to the Poizo  I rode nearly all the way with Mr M who was very slow and talked of nothing and Jane having changed her palanquin for a Tripp horse he rushed off to her leaving me quite alone and remained devoted to her the rest of the day. We dismounted at the bottom of one of the peaks which we ascended in order to put up a signal to Bella as we could see the hotel quite distinctly – it was a brilliant day and we had a glorious view of the torrintas which appeared quite close to us, of the north and south seas on ascending all the heights that came in our way till we were satisfied and then as it was two o’clock we began to think it was quite time fro dinner and all dispersed in search of a convenient and shady place. While Jane and I were so engaged we were much astonished at the sound of our names shouted in the most familiar manner by Mr M who was standing on the top of the hill screaming Mary, Jane come here! And in this manner he continued to address us all day much to my disgust. I was so angry that I turned a deaf ear to all his questions till he was at last compelled to put a Miss before my name if he wished to obtain an answer – but perhaps poor little boy he only did it in the glee of his heart for he was very happy and I ought not to be so enraged with him. We dined under ? da Terra and when we had finished Jane and I retired to a shady spot and there lay down together and found ourselves so comfortable that when we saw the others pop up to mount we could not prevail on ourselves to move until some time had passed and then we met two men who had been sent to look for us, also a scolding for our carelessness. We were astonished to find how far we had come from the Poizo in search of the picturesque – at least three miles nearly all the way I rode and then sending back the horse for Mama found myself alone with Charley with whom I walked on following a footpath I saw and thinking of nothing till at last perceiving that we were not overtaken by the riders I began to be a little frightened supposing we had lost our way but I rushed on knowing that a path must lead somewhere and at length I had the good fortune to meet a woodcarrier who put me into the right way and we presently found ourselves in the road a little above Ribeira das Cales and much ahead of the party to whom I sent a man to inform them of our safe arrival which was fortunate as they were just sending to look for us as the open terra is rather an easy and unsafe place to lose oneself upon – but alls well that ends well. Charley  and I got to the pavement before any of the others and had a luxurious repose upon the grass till some horses appeared from one of which I speedily dismount its rider and mounted myself with great satisfaction for it’s a long way from the Poizo to the Mount and I was very tired and I believe we were none of us sorry to reach home which we did about 8 been above the Mount before. They would none of them come in to tea and Mr M took down our letters for the North to  go by Rimmald in the Morn.

 

Saturday 22nd – Being a little rested I walked down to the Valle with Fanny at 9 o’clock to spend the day with the Tripps it being Fanny’s 20th birthday. Harriet and Clara came after breakfast and Miss Moss was also there . I was very happy for as we were all tired together we lay on sofas or beds reading, working and talking and in the afternoon we walked and sat a little in the garden. I also answered a note from Bella and Julia came to tea and we all walked down together. I like the Tripps better and better – they are so innocently good and have so much more individuality than I imagined.

 

Sunday 23rd – I walked from church with Mr Watkins to the Incarnation trusting to his geographical ignorance not to detect me. He is so sweet and gentle as well as gentlemanly that I cannot help liking him in spite of his low church principles and he is so kind to me that I hope the liking may be neutral. I read Abbots Young Christian all day and was delighted with it – I cannot understand Mama saying his books do not come home to her – they do to me more almost than any of the kind I ever read. Clara and I came up in the evening.

 

Monday 24th – Fanny and Harriet came up to breakfast . I wrote this before dinner and afterwards was detained by Mama as I was going out to breath a little airas my head ached to work with her till Harriet having finished practising she proceeded to give a dancing lesson in which I was required to assist which did not make my head better so I determined not to drink tea with the Wallases as I had promised but just go up and tell them so, but Marion was so pressing that I could not refuse and Eliza and we sat at the gate for some time till she went down with a message for Mama. I lay on Janes bed and she poured eau de cologne upon my head till it was much better and Mr Leacock come to tea after which Jane and I played ? duet to him and then she sang. Mrs Wallas worked and Marion and I read ? together and made an agreement to meet every evening to read ? till I was sent for. Mama, on my informing her of this arrangement insists the Bella, Julia and Fanny be included in these meetings, which I think rather an unfair proceeding for we are nowhere commanded to love our neighbour better than ourselves and as without vanity, I know more German than my companions it is hardly selfish of me to prefer arrangements which shall enable me to go on without being still obliged to wait for them, especially as I have never been able to induce them to read anything approaching to regularly but have much more fallen back to them than brought them on to me.

 

Tuesday 25th – A messenger from the North confirmed the intelligence that Bella was coming over today. I wrote this and began kirbirla und linba for our first lesson. We all sat at the Mirante waiting for Bella and at 6 I had the delight of once more embracing my beloved sister. She was not at all tired and after writing to MRs Carter and despatching the men she administered to me an oath and then told me “nothing” however, black is white and I am at last perfectly and entirely satisfied – yet I am not the least surprised at anything I have said or written on the subject for surely it was quite the most natural thing for me to imagine but Mr M is a true prophet and I rejoice thereat with my whole heart. Charleses, Hayward and Murdoch came up to tea and Papa brought letters by the Tenerife announcing Jacintos intention of returning to Madeira and Mr Smith’s anxious wish to see us at Teneriffe as soon as possible so we are to go in the September Packet!

 

Wednesday 26th – I have come to the conclusion that as writing my journal is great waste of time but still so interesting an occupation that I cannot give it up I will no longer devote my morning hours to it but write it up every night before going to bed which after all is the most approved method of proceeding. I met Marion this morn at the gate to tell her of Bella’s arrival which had prevented my going to her the evening before but this is to be our last morning meeting as we agree it is great waste of time. I have not thought it necessary to particularize our visits which have been pretty frequent. I went to Bella for correction before breakfast to tell her how ell I had stood M’s cross questioning for I not only humbugged in words but kept my very blood in order and not once allowed it to came in to my face which is so much addicted to do when I tell a white lie. Morning as usual except that I perhaps cut poor Charle’s reading rather short for I found that I required Bella’s assistance at making a camisa at which I was busily employed. After dinner too as Mama was readinf aloud a book we had both read she allowed us to remain quietly alone. Oh dear, it’s so funny I can hardly believe it yet but I am very glad. We went to call on the ? and Gordons where I sat happily ruminating under a tree till interrupted by Mr Gordon and his pomposity. The Wallases came to tea and we played but they seemed bored only that M was much amused at Bella’s amazing spirits – she does seem rather happier than before her northern expedition –better I mean – I beg her pardon . how are we to be ready by September?

 

Thursaday 27th – I lost my book so was compelled to go to Bella’s room to look for it. It being Eliza’s last day she sat with us a good deal and in the evening we three walked up to meet Julia who was coming over from Camacha  by way of the Curral but we fell short at the seat where Eliza amused herself with reading and we in going to sleep she said but I don’t think we slept or if we did our dreams were very vivid. Presently a cry was raised that Julia had arrived so we proceeded downwards and our conversation was as before of Mr Hewson but how different it seemed. However, we both acted beautifully and Elizas anecdotes served as an excuse for the laughter we could not suppress at the oddness of the thing.it reallu is so strange and so perfectly to me unexpected – Je Noy and it is so very interesting and exciting but I am so afraid of writing anything for I don’t know what Bella may do in the fullness of her heart and confidence with my poor journal but I must make her promise to remember that people are not supposed to be blind to my faults and therefore I don’t want too have them exposed. Mr Moss called and rode down with Eliza – Julia very much down but whether from the fatigue of Mrs Parks party and house-warming or from the news from Teneriffe I cannot say. I am writing this at rather a late hour since Bella’s return I have always found myself in her room somewhere or other before going too bed and I become so interested in her conversation that I must tear myself away although Mama’s footsteps in the next room cause a little terror lest she should come in and seize me in the act of holding a tete a tete of which she has such a horror that even between sisters she deems it highly incorrect and indecent – Walla.

 

 

Friday 28th  - Passed the day much as usual making shifts etc. with occasionally a few interesting passages. Mama read Williams till it was time  for me to go to Marion. Fanny only accompanied me and she and Jane sat at  one side the hill we on the other very happily reading ? as we have abandoned the other as too difficult and improper. We read diligently but in an interval Marion told me the news which is that Jacinto is going to be married – not that the report is believed. Bella came to meet me and we three sat at the gate some time talking of Teneriffe for Marion most fortunately makes a point of never mentioning Mr Hewson’s name, at least she does dwell on the subject and seems half as curious and interested as she used – she will soon forget him – the first man that makes loves to her next winter will quite reconcile her to her fate and it will be as well. The children went in to tea and we came  down but the woods were not so dark as the last time I walked down them at night. After tea we talked for a long time about Jacinto, we were trying to impress upon the parents the necessity of calling so disreputable a character but we found it a very hard matter for Mama is so determined to think him the amiable person he appears and Papa is do determined to think nothing about him but I am afraid if he should come out again nothing we could say would prevent their admitting him to the same degree of intimacy as before, and yet, they know, or might know if they would not wilfully shut their eyes, that he keeps several mistresses and commits all kinds of wickedness but he has a “bon Coeur” and is amiable and so all this minor considerations are to be forgotten – really for good people as the parents are this is a funny principle to teach their children. In the course of conversation allusions were made which caused Bella’s and my corns (only we had none) to throb in unison more than once.

 

Saturday 29th  - I gave Fanny a lesson in cookery previous to my departure this day fortnight and then worked in my room where Lizzie was also culling out our dresses but she was not particular hindrance to conversation as we always instinctively lower our voices. I practised after dinner and worked till Mr Montgomery came and we went to walk with him. I had not amused at the recollection of our last conversation and the fulfilment of his prophecy in which, it seems, he had some ? but this part of the business is to me for the present involved in mystery. They talked rather funnily now – even a little conversation before in which Julia gave some interesting little particulars of his birth , parentage, and manner are peculiarly laughable. Messrs. Bayman and G. Hawyard, Fanny and the former round the woods till it was dark – the man really is so eloquent and clever that the moment he gets warmed on a subject all his vulgarity of manner and appearance vanish – he was haranguing me on high church and infidelity, giving as his opinion that Mr Lowe does not carry his opinions at all too far and he made the matter so much clearer and more reasonable than Mr Lowe ever did that I am beginning to think the Mrs Sherwood must be quite out and he quite in – we did nothing after tea but sit in a heap and talk of Cadiz and nightcaps and they departed early.

 

Sunday 30th  - Fanny went to Church and came up with Papa to dinner as it rained nearly all day we did nothing after prayers but to occupy beds in my room reading I. Leighton. I rather like these glory rainy days especially when they fall on a Sunday.

 

Monday 31st – Jane Wallas came down to learn to make caps and I made a pair of trousers till ? departed. Bella and I took our way up to the Quinta to drink tea with the Wallases as Jane is going to Campanário tomorrow and may not return before we depart. I sat with Marion on her bed all the evening while they made caps and she amused me considerably – her affection for Mr Hewson and her desire for general success striving which shall be the most powerful feeling in her mind- she has been very constant to him all the summer but it doubt whether she will be able to stand the trial of a winter’s admiration. What I especially admire in her is her full appreciation and acknowledgment of his good qualities such as honorableness, freedom from conceit, penetration etc. when his conduct to her has been really rather wrong and without knowing his motive so well as we do it must appear much worse – she is a most convenient child for instead of asking me questions

such as “now are they engaged” perhaps after all you are only deceiving me” and “do you think there is any possibility of your loosing your gloves”? she contents herself with talking about herself and listening to any sage advice and remonstrance.

 

Tuesday Sept. 1st – Julia who has appeared most unhappy all this time came and sat in my room while Mr Moss was paying a visit and began a long discussion on blues declaring she had not them now and that no one could discover when she had. I but think she deceives herself for if continual crying and a most doleful countenance with occasional small attempts at merriment are not proof positive of the blues I know not what are – poor child I think she has some little cause to think herself ill treated. Mr Montgomery called when Mr Moss retreated and Bella and he had a long and interesting Tete a tete walk in which they discussed the latters future plans while Julia and I went to read a long note from Eliza containing an account of one she had received from Mr Hewson saying he was not better. It really is very melancholy. I wish he would get well and rich and then etc. Mr M stayed to tea and they all sung splendidly till 10 o’clock.

 

Wednesday 2nd – Bella sick in bed so only Fanny and I went down to spend the day at Palmeira , which we reached about half past ten having found it rather hot down the Mount and we were not completely comfortable till after the repose of dinner when we all went out ant I found myself discoursing of love 1st and 2nd, long engagements, flirts, etc with Miss Southcote whose ideas on the subject greatly coincide with my own – she thinks there can be but one real and lasting love and that all else is imagination and the consequence of the natural desire of youth to bestow its affections on the first person that comes in its way – to illustrate some of her theories such as that flirting agreeable girls don’t “go off” so soon as the quite and innocent she told me various little interesting anecdotes of Pauline ? sister who has arrived at the age of 21 without one eligible offer and of various other of her kith and kin and then we talked of novels till we were joined by Julia Wardrope also spending the day when we edified her with our discussions of books of which she had never heard – Miss S is one of the most unstraighlaced persons on the subject if improper books that I ever knew and advised me to read Delphim and yet she keeps Pauline very strictly in this particular which is an inconsistency I do not well understand. We then wandered about, drank coffee and talked to Messrs. Bayman, Tom and Charles Mindick who gathered grapes for us till Miss S and I again found ourselves walking together round the Quinta which let me say is so long round and occupied us till moonlight. We talked rather uninterestingly at first till we began Journal writing of which she does not approve unless we can be sure nothing will ever be seen that might wound a persons feelings, but she thinks that when undertaken with a good motive like mine, i.e. to look back at a future time and mark the changes of my mind and when filled with criticism, conversations, sensible opinions and such taking pains with the style and the writing, like mine, that they may do good or at least prove an innocent source of amusement – I am afraid I gave her rather too good an opinion of my style of journalising for I rather described what I wished to do than really did, but Rome was not built in a day and I hope some day to act to my principles. Mr Temple and Dr Broughton had arrived and we found them all sitting in the moonlight upon which I sat down by Mrs Temple and continued my journal discussion with her and finding to my great delight that she has an immense horror of them our quick discussion now grew into ? a debate, Dr B taking my side, Julia listening and occasionally giving ? to a commonplace observation though I, of course, combated all Mrs T’s arguments as in duty bound I could not but allow in my heart with much that she said, we having lately stealthily perused poor Fannys Mss and been much disgusted at the affection or at least exaggeration of sentiment therein contained which vexed me the more as I have been the principal mover of her journal writing which I recommended thinking it would be a good outlet for her pent up thoughts which having been so long brooded over must I thought be worth recording – but it seems I was mistaken and that they had better have remained where they were for as Mrs T, says children only write down things to look pretty and have not sense to confine themselves to improving subjects – Miss Southcote walked away in the middle of the argument which showed bad taste for it was an amusing one, nut her greatest fault seems to her dislike of arguments, but for this failing I should like her particularly indeed I do in spite therof for she is very sensible and agreeable and in many respects what I should like to be at the age of 35 which may be about her age. Mr Temple was not particularly disgusted at tea and we sat an immense time in the hot room which made me rejoice when a move was made towards the drawing room when I worked and talked to every one and at 10 took my departure attended by Dr B who would have been agreeable only my horse tumbled and frightened me so I was stupid. Bella was not asleep and able to tell me the news of which there is much as Miss Moss has been spending the day – M.H. and Mr Moss drinking tea and Marion and Misses Mont and Freeman paying visits and when I had heard and imparted all this I come to record it in pursurance of my resolution although the hour ( half past 12)

 

Thursday 3rd – Work almost unceasingly but the monotony thereof was much relieved by the perusual of Bellas journal to which she was making explanatory notes and which we found considerably amusing. Mr Montgomery called on his way from spending the day at the Wallases but as it was late he could not dismount and some of us spoke to him at the gate. He has heard from Mr Hewson that he is no better and Dr Renton advises him strongly to return to the South and to take  a voyage – how very natural it would be for them to go with us to Teneriffe only that I fear the climate would not agree with him, but it would be so nice and it need not be talked about any more than his going to Lisbon with Jane Penfold which he would do if he went not with us.

 

Friday 4th – Papa and Fanny set off at 5 o’clock to St António da Serra . fanny by invitation to spend a week and Papa to return the same day via Camacha. We heard from Manoel in the evening that they too had a fine day only a little cold and rain which astonished us as it had been almost a ? with us. The Wellington came in and James sent us word that a Captain Valdwell introduced by Mr Deane, whose letters were supposed to have preceded him, had been to the house and passed through the Custom and established at the London Hotel by him Papa being absent. Marion just called at the door to bring grapes on her way from spending the day at the Alegria and Mr Montgomery arrived soon after her departure. We were all permitted to go out to walk and I performed the part of gooseberry picker to admiration dragging Julia off by delicately insinuated main force leaving the principal and confident to talk as many secrets as they pleased which is the more magnanimous as I am not permitted to be a sharer in them – not I believe that it is Bella’s fault but Mr Hewson has taken it into his head that I am a horrid spoilsport and moreover cannot keep a secret if I would – I am sure he is mistaken – how I wish he would not so misunderstand me to use a phrase I see in my two sisters journals – but I suppose that with so much penetration he cannot long remain with the idea that I am not to be trusted – I certainly do blush sometimes in rather awkward places but my friends are accustomed to this weakness of mine and think I mean just nothing. Mr M half expects his cousin tomorrow – I wish he would come. I want to see whether he will seem changed – at least I am sure I shall regard him with much more complacency than the last time he returned from St Anns for with good cause I then thought him a heartless flirt and as such was justified in disliking him with all my heart. Now I but like him again tho I think I shall not like him so well as I did once till I have seen and spoken with him which I am sorry but cannot help for tho’ fully convinced he is everything that is charming and excellent a little of the feeling or impression of feeling which caused me so unmercifully to abuse him a little while since sticks. Fanny and Emma Tripp came to tea and after putting them on their horses Julia and I walked up and down – she is a very nice girl – there is something so honest, affectionate and sympathizing in her nature and if she does show her feelings rather too strongly sometimes it is better than having none to show.

 

Saturday 5th – Mama went to town to execute commissions etc. and I made pies and puddings in case Captain Caldwell should accept an invitation to dinner today – but my trouble was in vain for we learnt from the Mosses and Kem ( who are staying with them on their way to St Helena and came to reide through the Quinta ) there was a probability of Mr Hewson’s coming and a certainty of Mr M so after working some time after dinner I took Julia up the woods and on our return Mr M was just departing but before I could be informed of anything that had passed Messrs Peter Cossart, Tom Slapp and Bayman appeared with the intention of staying to tea and were nothing daunted at  hearing of the parents absence – and here they are now- it is very nice wrong of me to leave them but I am so very sleepy and stupid that I do anything but promote the amusement of the party and I must write this tonight. I then proposed a moonlight walk which proposal met with great applause and as we were just 3 pair and the moonlight and woods very delicious I forgot my sleepiness and stupidity and found Peter quite agreeable on the history of the Jews.

Sunday 6th – On my reaching town this morning at 8 I found Papa absent attending M H. aunts funeral so that we breakfasted not till 9. the Dart come in but we did not read our letters till our return from Church where we heard a very good sermon and received the Sacrament – Capt Caldwell sitting in our pew – he is gentlemanly in appearance and good too for he stayed altho’ evidently not prepared to stay! Our letters were most delightful and so numerous that we read them incessantly till 5 o’clock. I have two sweet affectionate ones from Mama, I cannot help hoping I do live her a little in spite of my coldheartedness, with some Sacrament books I had asked her to send me, also an old one from Anne and from Miss M also a letter from Augusta de la Motte – very grateful but in rather low spirits with no mention of Mr Gele perhaps they are connected with him. Miss Harisson is married and Miss ? not, so that it is rather disagreeable to think how she staid with us and how kind we were to her – what a disgusting woman! And so ugly. Mr Pickens letters are most amusing and contain a most glowing description of Kitty’s charms which he beheld the day he spent at Bramby. If we are to believe half he says we may expect that she will cut out all the belles of Madeira much praise for wine received and orders of more, the Guillmonds, Dicks, Bacons and no end of strangers coming out – in short the news is all delightful – I never felt so little unhappiness mixed with my delight at receiving letters from England. I called on my way up on Miss M North and as I found a Houghton with me I commissioned him to inform his sister that we should be happy to take letters for her to Teneriffe and so escaped a stupid visit. I reread the letters for the benefit of the mountaineers and soon retired.

 

Monday 7th – I met Marion at the gate as she had particularly sent for me and in return for all my news received a very nice and affectionate letter from poor Katherine who has been in such distress at the people all dying that she has not liked to write before. We were startled just before breakfast with the apparition of Mr Montgomery his cousin having written to beg him to come and see them – reason unknown as he is not worse, he just took our commands and departed as Mr Freeman and brother just arrived, were waiting to accompany him part of the way. I worked hard all the morning so allowed myself to write to Mama in the afternoon and Papa came up after tea after which I still went on. He brought up a word that it had been discovered that Capt Caldwell had brought us no letters but to Mr Pimenta and there was a little row about it in which he behaved like a gentleman – but he is poor – Mr Park speaks positively of sending the Vernon to Teneriffe next voyage – about Decr.

 

Tuesday 8th – I wrote in the morning and found myself  with a headache all day in consequence of allowing myself a little sleep – Capitão Vicente breakfasted and dined as he and Papa were making a trigonometrica survey of the Quinta it seemed very unworthy of us not to go and assist but it was very hot , we very busy, and after all we should have understood nothing there being no one to explain. Marion came by daylight to tea and got out candles for us  and Mama also appeared. Marion and I were only allowed to walk a very little way by moonlight when we talked – as usual. I really think the way she speak of Mr Hewson is quite beautiful – she will not allow that he ever meant any harm and that it was her own fault. I of course gave her very sage advice and recommended her not to come to conclusions so fast another time.

 

Wednesday 9th – I tried on dresses etc. from 6 o’clock and wrote from 7 to 8. Bella went down in the afternoon and I finished long letters to Mama Evans and Arabella.

 

Thursday 10th – Capitão Vicente was again trigonometricalizing and eat with us. Bella to town for good. Mama was also preparing to go down and while in her room I heard a bell and screaming out rather too loud “Mr Hewson”. I rushed out but it was only Mr Moss who sat and talked for a long time in a most uninteresting manner. I certainly was not thinking of what I was saying and when another bell sounded my agitation increased and I actually trembled so that I could hardly speak, but I did manage and kept up a very connected conversation till the door opened and he came in – again a cold shake of the hand – but he was much nicer and I like him better than before. I like him now quite as well as ever though “isn’t it funny” was all he said  to me as Mama soon took them down with her and we all walked to the gate together. I am afraid he is no better he says so himself and in spite of his burning he looks so thin and pale. But the Agina is coming in, now I hope the voyage may do him good! Poor Marion came down to be comforted – he had passed close to her on the road she being in the Adro, and though he evidently saw her he not even smiled or bestowed one look of recognition. It seems very rude and I wonder at the ever-polite being guilty of such a breach of good manners, and unhappy I consented to go up to tea with her and succeeded wonderfully  in tranquillising her mind. Her mother being in town we laid on the sofa all the evening and tho’ we talked principally of Mr Hewson I don’t think we were vulgar, for I always lecture her and advise her for the future and she openly confessed her faults and promises to try to behave better in future but she has quite nonsense to her again – that is maid and thinks no one will even talk nonsense to her again – that is seriously or that she will be interested in it – I am inclined to think this will not be the case – I am in hopes she has not, at 17, exhausted her powers of loving which she seems to fear is the case and I think she could be happier as a wife too than unmarried for she never could be satisfied without someone to whom she could give and pour forth her whole heart – she is a very nice child – I love her much better than ever did Arabella.

 

Friday 11th – I walked with Julia up the woods as it was perhaps the last time but she was rather slow, in spite of her sympathetic nature she cannot the least enter into or understand ones feelings on one subject so that subject was not discussed or only in an indifferent manner, she however promised to tell me some “amusing stories” whether relating to him or not I do not know, this day year – I stayed with her till quite late and then went on by previous invitation to meet Marion – Mrs Wallas on her way up from town had called at the St Salvador and though him  looking no worse – she thinks well of him although so ill now and Marion says she is an excellent judge – may she prove herself so in this case – I wonder if he has been to see Bella today. M & I walk in the moonlight and sat on the wall where we were disagreeably interrupted by Dr Broughton who stopped his horse an immense time and we thought he never would leave us in peace again – at last he but went and we renewed our interesting conversation – its subject as ever – indeed poor dear Marion can neither think, feel nor speak on any other – I really pity her very much and when I am gone and she has no sympathizing friend to comfort and lecture her into comparative tranquillity I know not what will become of her – she is so like a character in a book and I do hope she is as mistaken in her belief in her own unchanging constancy as young ladies in books are represented to be. I advised her to discard Byron and Lady Belssington and confine her reading to more serious and less exciting works – to study German and in short to do everything that is likely to assist her reason to triumph over her imagination – not that I think poor dear child that it is all imagination but I try to make her believe it . we compared notes about our affection for Arabella and discovered to our mutual amusement that we had both about in an equal degree humbugged ourselves and her with respect to the extent and degree therof – but I am sure it was not our fault – how could we listen to so many expressions of intense affection, so sweetly expressed and not work ourselves up into the belief that we returned her love – but this and a few other things were only small episodes and we did continually found ourselves recurring to the main point, tho’ we did little more than go over the same ground that we had often discussed before but still some new and rather startling things, one of these that the last time they talked he told her he liked her now quite as well as ever and he has been 5 times to see her this summer – in the winter he used to go as many times in one week. I know he deludes himself and has no idea he is saying what is not true, and she even says so, but still it sounds funny and I quite approve of his culling her as he has.

 

Saturday 14th – Doing everything for the last time but I can’t say I felt very sentimentally affected at the idea of the long respite from Charley and Clara that I had before me. Marion came down about 4 and helped to entertain Harry Young who called VDA, and then we went to the Mirante to watch for Jane who never appeared tho’ we waited till after dark talking principally as before. I am really astonished at my improvement in humbunging but great as it is I am rather glad I am not exposed to any more trials. She talked “good” too and really is I think inclined to be so but does not know how to set about it now she has lost her advisor and guide. I am afraid I cannot supply his place.

 

Sunday 15th – To town before breakfast after taking a most affecting leave of all and there found Fanny returned from the Serra . they drank tea here on Friday and Saturday – he was not able to go to church but Malcom walked a little with us on our way to the Convent when we submitted to a parting embrace from Anna Yhegenia who requests us to bring presents from Teneriffe. We lay on our beds all the day but I fear did little good for we couldn’t help talking when we were not sleeping which the least caused us to do a good deal. Mr Mowe dined and Eliza paid us a long visit – read Leigton in the evening.

 

Monday 16th – I practised all the morning as well as I could considering the heat which is intense and all the afternoon I did little good till they came and I picked gooseberries a little – but Mama insisted in Bella going out with her shopping and all that time we were standing in the window explaining and talking about everything but he told me to be very careful what I wrote so I will say no more but that I like him very very much – they stayed to tea- Papa was very agreeable and facetious. I hope he is beginning to like him a little better and the conversation was so funny, all about flirts, love and marriage but with the greatest innocence – I think he seems better – he says he thinks he shall be now and we were very happy, Mama writing a list of boarding houses for Mr Picken and we helping her and they departed at 10.

 

Tuesday 17th – MSS as yesterday – she sat with me while I practised and then as I was sitting in my room James gave us the melancholy intelligence that the Packet was in sight. I couldn’t helps feeling rather sorry and yet it is as well she should come in and not keep us any longer in suspense. We did not get our letters till after dinner, Papa’s containing not much news of importance only the wine is much approved and I had one from M. A. Finnis who is going to give Henry Balston and introduction to me – his is a most interesting case – he has been in love with Elisabeth Finnis all his life, in spite of her repeated rejection of his suit which he says has been his death blow and as he is also in a rapid consumptionhe is ordered out here tho’ almost without hope of deriving benefit or even of reaching Madeira alive. I am so sorry I shall be away when he arrives but patience J.M. Dart sailed too just as this time and we were in the Counting House in all the bustle of receiving and despatching letters when the Captain and the Dr of the Packet came to settle about taking us and I was rather pleased with the Captain who seems determined to do everything agreeable and when they were gone Messrs H & M came and Bella and I went upstairs with them. Mr M reading his cousins letters in Don ? Hall and I in the passage above waiting for Eliza who appeared about 5 and went with me to look at packing etc. till Mama came and we all went into the library and then Dr Oliveira came to wish us goodbye in the drawing room and Mary and the others stayed to tea. It was not so nice as yesterday – all very unhappy and Eliza quite sorry I do believe that we are going but will soon be back again. I had the misfortune to differ in opinion with two of my friends so they are very angry but it was all for the best and I am quite sure I am right and if they did not follow my advice they would repent afterwards.

 

Wednesday 17th Tom Edwards and Mr Montgomery called to take leave and wish goodbye and Mary to spend the morning – I wrote this and  to Marion as I shall be too sick on board – and the packing all done and Captain and Dr arrived we sat down to dinner and as soon as it was over walked down to the beach accompanied by Mama, Papa, Mary and Mr Temple who called with a letter – our parting was not very affecting – not a tear shed on either side , we certainly are a very unsentimental family and then we went on board the “wave” which we had previously requested to honor and soon found ourselves climbing up the side of Her Majesty’s Packet Lapwing. We have the state cabin to ourselves which is a great luxury ad it is large and well furnished, though rather badly off in the way of air as there is only a little window a the top. Papa and the “waves” did not leave us for some time ant they would able to take a good report of us as we directly made ourselves perfectly at home and were quite welll but no sooner had they departed then the enemy came and the emetic triumphed so melancholy over the pathetic that I could not help thinking more of my own pitiable situation than of those I was leaving behind. Nevertheless I managed to sit up and watch pretty Madeira fading away and it was not till might and it was quite out of sight that I was fairly obliged to go over the side. Oh the horrors! And there were Bella and Capt Colesworth, the only English passengers looking at the moon, walking up and down enjoying a most enviable flirtation, while I poor victim, grasping the Captains hand to keep me from tumbling into the sea could only raise my head between whiles to look at her and even then could not feel much interested, so as soon as I was safe and could tear Bella from her interesting tete a tete we went down and at last managed to tumble into bed when I slept a little.

 

Thursday 18th  - Being nearly suffocated in our close cabin we rushed on deck with all speed and they had the amiability to bring up a mattresses pillows and all such things on deck and put an awing round as well as above us so that we were quite shut in and as comfortable as our pitiable situation admitted of, for Bella was beginning to give in a little. We remained all the morning unmolested except when the unsympathizing steward came to ask if we would have poached or fried eggs, roast beef or chicken pea soups etc. the mention of which things seemed to us slightly disgusting. Bella was able to read a little and in the afternoon and evening to resume her little flirtation, but I could only sleep, think or grumble, though occasionally compelled to reply to a few observations of the Capt. Who was really very kind as he did everything he could for us, which is the more gentlemanly as he refused to take any passage money for us, but he is very gentlemanly and gentle too, and gives his orders almost in a whisper which is a great improvement on that horrid Captain Selby whose conversation even on common occasions principally consisted of baths and other such agreeable things. We wished so much that it might be permitted to sleep on deck but it would not have been correct and of course the Capt. Would not allow it so about 9 we were obliged to exchange the cool, fresh air and the pretty stars for the wretched cabin our only consolation being that it was our last might for altho’ we had been going only 6 or 7 knots all day we expected to arrive at our destination tomorrow.

 

Friday 19th – the Capt. Awakened us with the joyful intelligence that land was in sight and that we should reach it in an hour and a half – it was then half past 5 so we quickly made ready and went up but were much disappointed at finding it so cloudy that the Peak was scarcely visible and only occasionally at all and we soon lost sight of it entirely. I was so fortunate as to be well enough to fell somewhat interested in watching our gradual approach and the gradually increasing distinctness of all the objects – it seems so strange that after so many disappointments we should actually be within sight of Teneriffe – it looks very barren and not so pretty as Madeira but much larger, not so high and the town not so large – three windmills looked so English, but everything else extremely foreign – more so than Senechal. At about 9 the Capt. Took us on shore and on the magnificient Mole we found Mr Bartlett, the Consul, a stupid looking old man with white hair, and Mr Hamilton who welcomed us most kindly as if he quite expected us and took us immediately to his house which is on the beach ? in, I should imagine, the best and nicest part of the town. It is very old and large, a quadrangle with galleries all round inside and an awing above so that it is cool as may be with the thermometer at 80, and reminds one of ? pictures one has seen but I forget what of ? Mrs Hamilton came out to the top of the stairs and was so sweet and happy to see us – kissed and called us Bella and Mary, shewed us our room the most comfortable in the house all ready arranged for us as if we had been anxiously expected and made us feel immediately quite at home. Her little “inhabitant” is to be disinhabitated in a month but she is so active and lively rushing about and talking and laughing that it is wonderful and she is so pretty, I am quite in love with her, and she talked so prettily about her baby, when we had given all the immediately interesting Madeira news, saying what an interest and amusement it would be to her because she now felt rather lonely sometimes as her husband cannot be much with her and there is not a decent English woman near and the Spanish ladies, she says tho she likes some of them very much, she cannot make friends of. Our luggage being arrived we went to clean ourselves and on returning to the drawing room found a clerk – Mr Bruce – to whom we were introduced – the veriest wretch that ever was seen, vulgar, awkward, uncouth, with a huge beard all under his chin and an ugly horrid face and she calls him a “nice gentlemanly young man”! poor dear lady! – it shows to what a state she must be reduced to be so satisfied with such a horror. There is also a little nephew of 15, just nothing apparently but a rather forward boy, fond of hearing himself speak. At dinner which was at 3 we naturally discussed all Madeira news and she was of course much interested. Mr Hamiltom is a much nice man than I had thought – not at all slow and is beautifully fond of his wife and is careful of her but how could he help loving such a little darling. I suppose he was in love when we knew him at Madeira which made him appear stupid, he not being such an adept in acting as some others. After dinner as Bella and I were sitting at the window working and talking of this, the door opened and a pretty little lady come in who shook hands with us in a most cordial manner and sat down opposite, which proceeding created some little astonishment in our minds but we just went on with our work till Mrs H entered and introduced us to the Governor’s lady who is, I believe, rather a favourable specimen and nicer looking I think than Portuguese women. They talked a good deal and I was obliged to discover that I could understand much of the tenor of their conversation. I think I’ll learn if Mr Smith will teach me. We staid some time after she departed, looking out of the window which commands a very good view of the bay and the mountain on one side. There is also a nice looking kind of garden just in front, something like the garden at Kent Terrace, and they have paves in all the streets which are so wide and large that its quite grand and in most respects there seems to be more civilization than at Madeira but Spaniards are more respectable than Portuguese. At 6 Messrs Hamilton and Bruce came to walk with us but we had only proceeded once up the Plaza when it began to rain and we were obliged to return for which I was sorry, the more so as I was so dreadfully sleepy and tired all the rest of the evening that I could hardly help shutting my eyes as well as my mouth which must have appeared very stupid but we were happily allowed to retire before 9 and again enjoy the luxury of plenty of water and other cleanliness’s to which we had long been strangers. The mosquito curtains were rather alarming but they answered their purpose and we slept in great peace and happiness.

 

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